i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
