Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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