Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Randomize
