Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize