i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
cat food counts as protein by the way
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm both gender and math confused
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
