saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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