I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
