This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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