After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
