question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
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She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
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They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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