He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
im having a threesome with these popsicles
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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