Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
