I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
