You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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