If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
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