The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
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