We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
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it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
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I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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