I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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