This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Its about making memories worth repressing
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
