it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
