My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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