what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
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