There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
