Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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