I am puke
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize