I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Do vagina's smell?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
