Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
