it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
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