a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize