***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
she woke up with a sticky ear
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
