I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
