You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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