I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
