Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
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I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
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I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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