Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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