I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Little spoons don't ask big questions
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
