So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
