i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
