I feel great
I just peed on a car
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
