It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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