all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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