she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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