Fine. I'll sleep in my office
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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