told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
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He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
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He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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