I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
