that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
