I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
