I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize
