Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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