Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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