dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I did not marry a roomba.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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