Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize