Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
