yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
