Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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