good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
