my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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