Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
