the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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