until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
