I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
