WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
