Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
