Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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